Movie Review: "Transformers: Age of Extinction" (Michael Bay, 2014)

RATING: ** (TWO STARS) by Patrick Belin

Above: a very large robot

This movie is commercial trash—so much so that I loathe to even call it a “movie.”  “Overly long toy advertisement that I (like a schmuck) paid to see” would have been a more appropriate designation.

            Directed by Michael Bay (the “filmmaker” behind every movie in the “Transformers” franchise), “Age of Extinction” introduces us to Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), a would-be inventor who stumbles upon one of the movie’s titular alien robots.  But unsurprisingly, Cade has little time to enjoy his find, as he quickly becomes caught in the midst of the franchise’s seemingly endless war of Transformers.

Beyond that, I couldn’t tell you anything about the movie’s plot.  At the very least, I expect these types of movies, (i.e. big and brainless summer blockbusters) to tell accessible stores with well-defined, unambiguous characters with obvious purpose.  Yet “Age of Extinction” is so incoherent that I’m still not sure who the film’s villain was.   

Even worse, it appears as though no one told Mr. Bay that this wasn’t actually going to be a movie, but rather a bloated commercial aimed at the Chinese market.  Just when it seems as if we’ve seen the film’s final excessive explosion, the director abruptly diverts the narrative to Hong Kong for even more random explosions and slow-motion action set-pieces.  The worst part?  That this sequence looks suspiciously like a glamorous, tourist-baiting ad, rather than a genuine overextension of the story. 

In other words, bravo, Mr. Bay—you are now officially the poster child for Hollywood sell-outs.  In fact, I walked out of the theater imagining him saying to me, “Ha ha, you idiot!  It’s your own fault for paying for this!”

So—why would I pay to see this?  There are a couple of reasons.  Partly, it was because I found 2011’s “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” to be quite entertaining; partly it was because I grew up with the Transformers.  But if this franchise represents the direction that Hollywood is moving in, then, for future reference, I cannot help but feel much more skeptical with what the next summer movie season has in store.

In closing, I’ll admit that I do appreciate the dark, noirish sci-fi feel that the producers have attempted to instill in the film.  But due to the pressures of the commercial business reality, the film’s notorious director appears to have just barely taken this edict to heart, and instead settled on a failed mission.

Seen Saturday, June 28^TH at Cinetopia Vancouver Mall 23, in GXL format.