Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Breaking News: Christopher Nolan and Nancy Meyers to Team Up


AUTEURS ASSEMBLE! 
CHRISTOPHER NOLAN
AND NANCY MEYERS
JOIN FORCES FOR

“SOMETHING GOT

 IMPLANTED”

by Bennett Campbell Ferguson

In Hollywood, mixing genres is often considered to be risky, or even dangerous.  But that’s exactly what Nancy Meyers and Christopher Nolan intend to do.  As of yesterday, the two directors have confirmed that they will co-direct the new film “Something Got Implanted,” which they describe as a “sci-fi romance about love, life, and the distortion of reality.”

            The film will star Diane Keaton as Jane Simpson, a divorced novelist struggling to complete her long-gestating memoir while preparing her daughter for college.  But then, everything changes with the arrival of Jane’s ex-husband Ray Cobb (Michael Caine), an amoral scientist who manipulates Jane by placing a computer chip in her head.  As a result, Jane begins to hallucinate and lose her grasp on both sanity and morality. 

            Upon announcing this unusual project, Ms. Meyers and Mr. Nolan agreed to answer a few short questions about the film (which this critic transcribed from online coverage).  Intriguingly, the two directors supplied somewhat different answers when asked about the picture’s story and tone.  “It will be a gentle and witty comedy,” Ms. Meyers stated.  “It’s about how old loves come back to haunt us, often when we most need to move on.  We hope the result will be warm and human and entertaining.”  “But with some very dark undertones,” Mr. Nolan interjected softly.  “There will be one particularly intense scene in which we will cut between Jane’s mind and the real world and Cobb’s mind and the real world and back again several times.”  At this point, he paused thoughtfully.  “We really want to use this fantastic story as a chance to explore the possibilities of a radically fragmented narrative.”    

            In addition to Ms. Keaton and Mr. Caine, the film will feature Miley Cyrus as Jane’s daughter and Cillian Murphy as an unbalanced real estate mogul who wears a bag over his head.  “That’s of great thematic import, the bag,” Mr. Nolan explained to the press.  “It symbolizes the elusiveness of truth in the film.”  At this point during the questionnaire, Ms. Meyers could clearly be seen glaring at her co-director.

            It may seem unlikely that two directors as different as Ms. Meyers and Mr. Nolan would collaborate on a single project—after all, the former is best known for romantic comedies such as “What Women Want,” whereas the latter’s career has been centered on blockbusters like the “Dark Knight” trilogy and “Inception.”  But the filmmakers’ mutual friend, composer Hans Zimmer, insists that the Meyers-Nolan team up is a match made in heaven.  “They are completely different in terms of their styles, their personalities, and their work habits,” he explained.  “But they share a key commonality.”  When asked to explain what this key commonality is, Mr. Zimmer frowned and answered, “It’s self evident, I believe.” 

            Sadly, Mr. Zimmer’s busy schedule will prevent him from scoring “Something Got Implanted.”  But he’s not worried.  “I recommended a friend of mine!” he said excitedly at the press conference.  “Loof Lirpa, a true genius and a visionary.  He’s eccentric, but you can probably tell that from his name.  The really funny thing is that when spelled backwards, ‘Loof Lirpa’ looks a lot like ‘April Fool’!”


HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY, FRIENDS!

~The Healthy Orange Gang J

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