CIVIL BORE by Mo
Shaunette
Above: Ben
Affleck stars in Mr. Snyder’s new movie.
Photo ©Warner Bros. Pictures.
Partway through “Batman v Superman: Dawn of
Justice,” there is a montage where news pundits, experts, and other talking
heads debate the merits of the Man of Steel, pondering whether he’s man or god,
hero or villain. Into this discussion comes the voice of astrophysicist
Neil deGrasse Tyson, whose contribution, despite being eloquent and sounding
like something he’d actually say, basically just means, “Superman proves that
aliens exist. Ain’t that a kick in the pants?”
That shallow
insight sits at the base of a mountain of evidence that “B v S” is a movie that
broaches philosophical questions about the ethics and implications of
superheroes, but cares little for concrete answers or coherent ideological
stances. At the end of the day, it’s just a nothing movie and a
half-assed tribute to Frank Miller’s Batman graphic novel “The Dark Knight
Returns” (and also a 150-minute teaser for the upcoming “Justice League”
double-feature).
No, “B v S” is not a good film. It may go down in history
as the "The Room" of comic book movies: a film committed to bad
creative decisions with such intense self-seriousness and pretension that it's
gobsmacking, bordering on outright hilarious.
If that fact surprises you, than you haven’t been paying attention.
Let’s start the beginning. “B v S” is a sequel to “Man of
Steel,” which itself was a miserable movie. Yes, the film showcased some
fine elements (a solid cast, cool effects, and decent cinematography).
But it was also sabotaged by a needlessly convoluted script and the direction
of Zack Snyder (who displayed all the intellectual and emotional nuance of a
13-year-old who had just discovered symbolism). Worse, the film framed
Superman not as an icon of American pop culture, but as a problem to be solved
through gritty “modernization.”
Attempting to overshadow these creative blunders, Warner Bros.
announced a sequel with trumpeting cries of, “Batman’s in the next one!
They’re gonna fight!” However, Batman and Superman fighting does not a
movie make (in fact, it’s just one scene in the movie). That’s partly
why, lo and behold, “B v S” (which Mr. Snyder directed) is just as protracted
and dull as you’d expect.
This becomes apparent during the seemingly endless first and
second acts of the film, which are devoted to the escalating tensions between
Clark Kent/Superman (Henry Cavill, lifeless and stone-faced) and Bruce
Wayne/Batman (an equally sedate Ben Affleck). These men clash over their
differing attitudes toward crime fighting (Superman condemns the Dark Knight's
practice of branding criminals; Batman blames the destruction of Metropolis in
the last movie on the Man of Steel's carelessness) and are prodded forward into
conflict by the sinister machinations of tech mogul Lex Luthor (Jesse
Eisenberg).
There’s also a subplot involving Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Gal
Gadot), who shows up during the climax of the movie and is easily the best part
of “B v S”—chiefly because she has little connection to the film’s rather
pathetic plot.
And it is pathetic. To solve the dilemma of how to pit two
heroes against each other, “B v S” saps away the heroism of both Batman and
Superman. Here, Superman bashes a terrorist through a wall to save Lois
Lane (Amy Adams), bullies Batman into quitting vigilantism, and shuffles off
his own cape when the going gets too tough. Batman, meanwhile, is painted
as a gun-wielding, paranoid alcoholic who believes Superman is destined to become
a fascist dictator—yet the Caped Crusader has just as little regard for human
life (and human property) as the Last Son of Krypton.
Surprisingly, the highlight of this mess is Lex Luthor.
Yes, Mr. Eisenberg’s shtick might rub some people the wrong way (he acts like
he’s at an improv show, blabbering nonsense in his quest for laughs) and his
motivations seem to change from scene to scene, but he’s got more life and
personality than either of the title characters. Beneath the mumbles and
jokes and philosophical nothings about God and angels and his abusive daddy,
there's a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown—Lex can’t accept that
Superman’s mere existence as a godlike being makes his intelligence and hard
work futile and obsolete.
In a better movie, Lex might have stood out as a failure of a
character, but in “B v S,” where the heroes are hypocritical, violent dullards,
I found myself invested in the one person who seemed happy to be there.
Like Mr. Eisenberg’s jittery performance, the film’s final fight
has some verve. While the climax of “Man of Steel” leaned heavy on
9/11-echoing images of falling skyscrapers and urban destruction, “B v S”
features its heroes taking on a towering, bony troll monster (on a battleground
that the movie carefully specifies is unpopulated). I appreciated Mr.
Snyder’s entertaining, high-fantasy approach to this showdown; it’s the one
scene where “B v S” actually feels like a superhero movie.
In the end, of course, there is little else in the film that
earns anything better than a bitter complaint. “B v S,” after all, is a
movie where female characters only exist to die, get captured, be rescued, or
make stupid mistakes (Wonder Woman notwithstanding); a movie whose editing and
pacing are noticeably bad (there’s barely a hint of drama, suspense, or
narrative momentum); and a movie whose creators don’t even seem to enjoy
superheroes.
There are so many more absurdities I could go into—Bruce Wayne's
psychic dream sequences; Lex Luthor sending a threat via a jar of piss; the
fact that a major character evolution occurs because someone finds out that
Bruce Wayne's and Clark Kent's mothers share the same first name.
But at the end of the day, one criticism stands above all else:
Zack Snyder and screenwriters Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer just don’t
understand (or care to understand) the humanity, complexity, and wit that made
the heroes of this film compelling on their comic book turf. Superman,
Batman, and Wonder Woman deserve better a movie. And while most audiences
probably won’t skip “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice,” they absolutely
should.